My theory: Your 20’s are all about figuring out who you really are. Your 30’s are all about figuring out how to accept who you really are. So what are your 40’s about? Just a whole bunch of awesome because you know what’s important and you don’t care what other people think? Because although I’ve only been 40 for like a month and a half, I’m riding the Don’t Care Train, for sure. I don’t care what people think about my weight, my hair, my make-up-free face, the condition of my house or the car I drive or any of those things. Right now I have the awesome gift of love and friendship on my mind. I’ve been hanging out a lot with my super- awesome and amazing friend Tiff, and yesterday was all about Shari and Shaune. I love you guys! I’m a lucky 40-year-old who doesn’t care what anyone thinks.
Sometimes you wake up and you realize how beautiful life is. Sometimes you have one of those ridiculously special days that you feel you somehow don’t even deserve, or was even possible in your boring, go-nowhere little neck of the woods. Sometimes you just feel so loved. That sometime for me is right now, right this very second. I was in the company of so many amazing people in everything I did yesterday that, no lie, I woke up with a smile on my face this morning. The day was filled with delicious food and creative friends and beautiful family and awesome art and gorgeous film and moving music and lively discussion and good weather and bad weather and laughter and tears and I just felt SO MUCH OF EVERYTHING.
As women (and especially as moms and/or at the workplace) we tend to go on automatic pilot just so we can accomplish the myriad tasks swirling around in our heads. When we are taking care of everybody else all the time, those days when we are kinda in it for ourselves are all the more special. Right now I’m so filled up that I could cry. God is good.
Carol took me to a fabulous lunch filled with wonderful conversation, and she gave me the portrait she painted of me and that hung in two galleries this spring! Below is the original photo, the painting, and the artist herself. It was a wonderful time. She is so rad. Also 2 pics of me and Shari at the Levon movie screening last night (complete with producer Q&A, free wine and delicious food afterwards! I can’t even talk about the movie right now. I just can’t. There are no words for how beautiful that masterpiece was painted). And then I came outside to see that my daisies came up! And the moon and the sun are both in the sky right now. I’m watching a bumblebee get his breakfast on the magnolias next to me while drinking my coffee from my favorite owl mug I got in Woodstock. My kids are playing and happy. Right now, I want for nothing.
I had a house full of family from 2 states all weekend, and everything was perfect. We cruised on down to Philly in the convertible on a perfect June evening. We just shimmied on up to the front row at the Father John Misty show and just had an epic time. Mind = blown. I got about 6 minutes of sleep last night and mama’s hurtin’. So I cannot make these scrambled brains of mine form a complete thought right now. Until tomorrow, my friends…
I just now had a glorious realization. Just now while I was chopping up some chicken breast to make a big batch of homemade chicken salad with cranberries and grapes on croissants with lettuce from my in-law’s garden that they brought (along with watermelon and a pie)…as my kids ran around happily, playing with their beloved grandparents…as I just told my husband I loved him when I hung up he phone because he was out and about and I forgot the grapes for the chicken salad…as I listened to the Stones playing…as I mused what to wear to Father John Misty tonight…just now when I accidentally typed “Musty” instead of “Misty” and laughed out loud…as I just texted my sister and niece, who are driving up from Virginia, will be here in a few hours to have lunch with us…as I just made my mother- and father-in-law pose for the below photo…as my father-in-law just joked about the light rain outside being a little “Father John Misty”…as i look at this cool poster they brought me in honor of this blog (below)…as I think about how people say things like, ” I gave you the best years of my life!” Or, “I wasted the best years of my life…”
…you know what’s awesome? I realized that the best years of my life are just beginning.
I love love love LOVE my in-laws and I love when they visit for a few days. I realize not everyone is able to make this statement and actually mean it. But I truly do. They are just awesome. They totally get me. They are loving and kind and sweet and intelligent and creative and they love The Lord and they love Max and Hazel and everyone else in their family to the moon and back. They are so good to all of us. I truly wish we all lived closer. But, it’s not so bad I suppose; because they live about 6 hours away, it feels like a mini-vacation when we go there. And the kids have become excellent road-trippers already, which is an excellent attribute to possess.
They are coming this particular weekend because my hubby and I are going to the Father John Misty show on Saturday with my niece, who is coming up from Virginia. Woo! I love a full house full of family!
My niece and I are very much alike. One time several years ago, my sister called me while I was suffering through the opening act at a Shins show. I went into the bathroom and took her call. She was like, “Where are you?? It’s so loud!” I told her I was at a show. She says, “It’s not The Shins, is it?” Why yes, I said! “Ha, Kait is there!!” So I texted her and then I found her after the show and tried to act cool so I wouldn’t embarrass her in front of her friends (she was in high school at the time). But I probably did anyway, because i was all like, “I can’t believe this!! I love you sooooo much!!!” But this is our first legit show TOGETHER. I am so excited. I remember so clearly when she was a newborn, and I was 16, and I held her and sang Doors songs to her. And she’s a hardcore Doors fan now, so I like to think it’s because of me. Ha.
Now she’s 24 and we share so much of the same taste in music and stuff. I love it! (I love ALL my nieces and nephews equally, by the way. In case they are reading this. Hi, guys!)
Kait and I are also the same in that we are geeking out over what to wear (I am wearing NAIL POLISH, people. it’s ALL ON) and what our game plan is for the show: balcony or squeeze up front so we can be as close as possible? Dresses? T-shirts? What to do, what to do. Oh, I love going to shows! I don’t get to go to many these days. Hopefully when the kids are older they like decent music so I can still enjoy going to shows. But I will totally take them to concerts and try not to be annoying and lame, even if we are seeing the 2113 equivalent of The Biebs (I promise to try to steer them in a cooler direction than that…)
And now I must prepare for the onslaught of family. Maybe next time I post it will be from the road because I ran away with Father John Misty.
My first night away from my kids was a complete success on many levels. They were so happy and excited to see me when I got home! And I missed their sweet happy little faces so much! I did not overindulge in wine or food. We had just the perfect amount. I talked and talked with my sweet friend until the wee hours. It was a total grown-up slumber party and it was great. Thank you so much, my sweet Shari muffin.
I even got home in plenty of time for church, and I’m glad I did. I am really excited about the current sermon series that we are delving into for the next SIX MONTHS! That is so exciting to me. I love an intensive study, for sure. So, the next few months will consist of our church really learning to be disciples of Jesus, and then my small group at my house about Jesus’ relationship with the women he knew, and then the BSF study of the Gospel of Matthew. It’s gonna be awesome! That’s a whole lotta Jesus.
Shari and I were talking about my blog, and she was wondering if my blog was some sort of Bible study assignment based on the amount of Jesus talk. At first. And then she realized that this is just where I’m at right now, what I’m interested in talking about because Jesus is a huge part of my life now. And part of that fact is wanting to tell other people what He is like. This blog lets me do that. If you want to read about Jesus and what my life looks like now that He’s truly the center of it, that is awesome. If not, come back tomorrow when I might talk about music or books or my kids or my awesome recipe for double-chocolate low fat vegan muffins. Or don’t. It’s all good. But I have passed the point that I worry about stepping on toes or being offensive in some way or looking “uncool” or being afraid of what people might think.
Those of you who know me well and know my weaknesses also KNOW DARN WELL that for me to be in a tavern at a hotel all night long on someone else’s dime and show total restraint and not get drunk…well, I’m telling you right now that it was because I prayed for The Lord to stay close to me all night long, and I had others praying the same thing. There was a big part of me that wanted to totally get my drink on, but a bigger part of me wanted to obey Him and obey the covenant to my church that I signed when I joined. It was a perfect example that there is such freedom in obeying His will for us.
And I love that Shari, who is Jewish, and I can talk about our faiths with questions and wonder and agreement and disagreement. I love talking to Christian friends and friends that believe in something totally different or nothing at all. There is a place in my life for everyone that God has put there. Rule #1 is to love each other. Period. Because I feel like if you are truly wanting to follow Jesus and take those steps, he will lead you to where you need to go. And loving each other (no matter of race or religion or economic status or sexuality or your past) is showing the rest of the world why this way of life is so beautiful.
I want to thank Pastor Brandon for his message today and his plan for the next 6 months, thus reassuring me that I am indeed in the right church at the right time with the right people. It will be so exciting to go through the future together as a church and grow in the direction Jesus wants us to go. And I am totally along for the ride! Friends, if anyone is interested in attending St. James in West Reading, now is a perfect time. Let me know.