Tag Archives: Dreams

My NyQuil-induced freaky dream

I have been a total mess all week due to a seriously lethal cold/flu thing. I think I’ve finally turned a corner today; I felt good enough to leave the house, which would have been impossible a few days ago. Anyhoo, I’ve been swigging a *LOT* of NyQuil. As in, “Nectar of the Gods.” My only saving grace throughout all this. All you mamas out there know how hard it is to parent when you are sick as a dog. When the kids are sick, too…well, it’s pretty much the most unpleasant days of your life.

One plus side to all this, if you are a total spaz like me, is that NyQuil gives you freaky dreams that you can blog about. Like this gem from last night:

I was apparently an actress who was in “Django Unchained,” but my scenes were cut at the last minute. I was appearing on the Oprah show with all the other actors in it. Glenn Close was there. I don’t remember the others. But it was all people who were not actually in the movie.

So, I was super-bitter that my scenes got cut. Oprah asked me a question, and I called her out about her falseness, phoniness, etc. In real life I have no opinion of Ms. Winfrey other than she worked hard for her success and she really came from practically nothing and built an empire. I harbor no ill will towards her. I can’t say I was a regular watcher of her show, nor do I take the lists of things she likes as gospel like so many do, but I like her, I guess. I will not deny that she is an inspiration to millions and does a ton of good things. But in my dream she was the most evil woman who ever lived and I was happy I got to expose her.

WELL. I went to my parents’ house and we all sat down to watch tv and my little rant on the O was the top story on all the entertainment shows and there was basically a public outcry to lynch me, because how DARE I CROSS OPRAH. Even my parents were “so disappointed in me.” Which we all know is just the worst.

I ended up going back to high school, which naturally was in a mall, and trying to blend in, like a narc ala “21 Jump Street,” to escape the public’s wrath. I left the school during lunch and got lost in the parking lot and then I woke up.

NyQuil. It should be illegal. It’s that good.

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The Dream of the Blue Throw Pillows

I had a dream last night that I ordered like a zillion throw pillows online and they just kept arriving and arriving and my husband was SO LIVID. He was literally sorting through bills (funny, since we do absolutely everything online) looking all frazzled and yelling, “Why don’t you just buy MORE THROW PILLOWS???” Ha. Wonder what the ‘ol dream dictionary has to say about this?

Hmmm. Okay.

Now, also in this dream we were looking to buy a new house and the one we liked had a gorgeous, ornate, hand-carved wooden staircase. Whatcha got, dream dictionary?

Okely dokely.

I don’t believe any of this hooey, by the way. Because I know what my dream was really about. It was about some unconfessed guilt I’ve been carrying around. Yesterday we went to the ‘ol Walmart yesterday with my mom and I bought a bunch of groceries that cost more than I anticipated (they also totally snookered me at the checkout, where I also “just had to get” Matchboxes for Max and Strawberry Shortcake play makeup for Hazel). I was looking for a while at the cute throw pillows they had, because we could really use some new ones. And the hubs and I were just discussing if we have to move in 3 years because we don’t love the school district we are currently in. But I am pretty sure I would love to homeschool. Unless we can get them into a good school district. Then maybe mama can make some coin. It’s all such a long way off. God will take care of my sweet babboos. No worries.

What I AM worried about is how my hubby is going to react at the Gap bill this month. My mom bought the kids a bunch of clothes and I charged it to the Gap card and she gave me the money. I used the money on everything but the Gap bill. And then around my birthday I got two fabulous summer frocks for myself. Which I feel guilty about. Because I think they also might have been Spite Dresses. Like, we had a spat and I was all like, “Oh, really? Well then imma gonna buy me some dresses!” I’m sorry, honey. I am publicly confessing my jerkiness. But at least I look a little bit more fabulous in my jerkiness. So, yeah, I’m pretty sure the throw pillows in my dream were really those 2 Gap dresses. That make me look 10 pounds thinner and 10 years younger. Is this softening the blow, honey? I think the dresses are also in fact MAGICAL in that they give you better gas mileage on your car and make the grass grow slower. So, these dresses are really for you!

Wah. Guilt sucks.

P.S. the below photo is me trying on a dress in a Baltimore thrift store a few years ago. Look how happy I am! Look at that serene expression! The satisfaction! The joy! Right, honey? Honey…? Sigh. Again. Guilt sucks.

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