Sometimes I wonder. When I discovered I was carrying twins, I spent quite a lot of my time asking God if He was sure He knew what He was doing. Me? Selfish, sarcastic, quick-tempered, broken, messed-up me?
Well, guess what. He always knows what He is doing. I think it was for some of those very reasons listed above that he gave me two babies at once. And to everyone’s surprise (most of all mine), I have been putting everything I have into these kids. And when I run out of steam/patience/my sense of humor, I have to dig a little deeper and find some more. It’s what every parent does whether they have one child or ten.
So, when I read stuff like this, it makes me sad beyond belief. Sure, we all get negative and scared and overwhelmed as parents or potential parents, but this guy really shouldn’t be having kids in the first place. We are all selfish to some degree, but…I can’t even. I honestly couldn’t believe what I was reading. Here, have a looksie:
Wow, right? I mean, I’m not gonna lie. All kinds of scary thoughts pop up when you hear you are going to have multiples. For the record, since everyone asks (even though it is a highly personal question), we did not do IVF or any other method to help us conceive. It was just what God had planned for us. But these people…wow. Getting two eggs fertilized, yet hoping only one of them “took,” then considering aborting one and not the other?! Are you people for real? Play God much??? Wishing for a birth defect to “give them a reason” to abort one or both? Whut?! Why did you go through all the expense and emotional turmoil of these procedures if you have so much hate in your heart for the babies in your wife’s belly? And I don’t think I buy into “Oh, he’s so brave for saying things that people are thinking.” I don’t think the average scared parent-to-be wishes a birth defect on their unborn child(ren) so they can feel justified in snuffing them out after going through great measures to conceive in the first place. These are not Sea Monkeys, people.
I am sad for these children. I believe that when you have kids, you need to put yourself out there for them as much as you can handle without going crazy. They deserve your best, as much as you can give. Once you become a parent, your old life is gone. And that’s not a bad thing! Without change, no one grows, no one makes a difference, no one unlocks all that beautiful, hidden potential we never knew we had.
While my life presents a zillion challenges and situations and emotions that I never once considered before I had these kids, I can say without any hesitation that I am blessed beyond what I ever imagined for myself. With every new word or activity or whatever that I teach my kids, they teach me more. They teach me what it truly means to love, nurture, protect, and strive to give my best for my family. Sadly, the dude who wrote that article, while probably thinking he was being modern and “real” and cheeky, just comes off as a scared little boy who has some serious work to do before these little ones are born.
So, when I have 2 two-year olds trying to potty train and flinging their diapers around and peeing on the floor and ripping up an entire box of tissues into little pieces and drizzling a trail of juice all over the house (on purpose) and biting and hitting each other and sneaking out of Time Out (all of which MAX ALONE did yesterday – it was NOT a good day)…when days like that happen, if I can get through it without losing my cool and giving them loving discipline and knowing, KNOWING how incredible it is that my body was capable of creating and birthing 2 healthy, smart, sweet, and adorable kids at the same time…when my kids look at me and gaze into my eyes and tell me they love me so much…when I realize that not only ARE they safe but they FEEL safe…at those times I think, “Yes. I am Mom enough.” I have to be. Because not only are Max and Hazel a blessing to me, they are a blessing to EACH OTHER. And that is so, so awesome.